Well, we all know how exercise goes...by the wayside, that is. You guessed it. I stopped exercising...and I was making such progress.. Oh well, that's how these things go. Down the drain, like a vast heaviness that gravity loves to mess with. I fell on my tailbone. It hurts to sit, stand for long periods of time, walk long distances, and roll over while sleeping. Excruciating!

Unemployment Woes

The worst part is how I feel about myself. I feel like a waste of space. I ask myself every day what is wrong with me. I just feel completely under-talented and inadequate, and when I hear about friends in other fields doing well, I'm envious. I've started to hide myself away from friends and family, in shame of my current predicament. I can't shake this feeling of dread I get when I wake up every day. I've looked all over the country and am about to give up on the field I trained for years to break into. At this point, I just want a job and to make a decent, fulfilling living like everybody else.Mostly, I was depressed. Days blur into each other; I wanted to speak to no one, including my family.

"The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." Victor Hugo

Land Trust Trails: Blevins Gap

Location: Blevins Gap Preservej2.5
 [Land Trust Trails off Four Mile Post (extension) Rd.]
Trailhead to SmokeRise Trail
SmokeRise Trail to Sugar Tree Trail
Sugar Tree Trail to Bill Marion Trail elevation change significant
trailhead
Time: 2 hours
stops (to catch breath): 5
sat on a rock: twice
water intake: 2.0 L
mileage hiked: 4.4 mi amendment 2.5 miles plus an elevation change of 400 feet.
cost: free
reward: spent time w/my Charles
dinner: Red Robin
sleep: all night long

This was a moderate to difficult  hike complete with rocks which kept me off balance, continuously worried about spraining an ankle. Kudos to the benches located on the SmokeRise trail and the Sugar Tree trail. Overall, this was an enjoyable hike. Considerable elevation change..

exercise

Walking by the lake then an extra loop=5 miles (approximately)
Reward: spending time w/my S.O. and best friend
               Dairy Queen Blizzards

Yesterday's store

Bass Pro Shop: Leeds, AL
You can see it from the interstate. Bass Pro Shop is located on a hill. The parking lot was fairly full. As they had a Labor Day sale going on, I walked into this huge store with high expectations. Black bears greeted me from tree limbs, high up. The greeter directed me to the restrooms which were clean and had plenty of toilet paper, paper towels and soap. The doors also locked securely. No complaints here. I strolled through the boat section, then wandered over to the ladies clothing and Columbia.
Now I was in search of a water filtration system not just for camping, but also for everyday usage. $30 for one bottle seemed rather steep to me since it didn't even include a filter, although it was insulated (bonus). I want a pretty stainless steel one (filter included) with a lifetime guarantee.
The salesman (camping) was kind and courteous, but he kept trying to sell me a Coleman tent. I have no interest in this particular brand. I was hoping to find North Face, Marmot, or another higher end brand. I am looking specifically for a car camping (stay for over a week tent) My best friend found a lovely sleeping bag (on sale for $169) which he proceeded to try out when we got home. I admit it is super comfy and comes with a liner (blanket) and a pillow...
The one (Bass Pro Shop) in Nashville, TN, seemed to have more of what I was looking for.
However, point me towards REI where memberships and warranties are lifetime not just 2 measly years for $40.

I forgot

Seems to be happening a lot lately... I start doing something then go off and forget what it was I was doing, ie.. leaving the stovetop on and not realizing it or leaving the poor cookies in the oven until my S/O wakes up to the attrocious smell of burnt peanut butter cookies. Apparently one must watch the cookies like a hawk rather than....nods off into the land of fatigue....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Freedom of Place

“Freedom of Place” is defined as being able to go wherever you want and stay as long as you want without the time constraints of normal vacationers. Campgrounds usually have extended stay-limits and are quite expensive. Therefore most people cannot afford the high cost of living that it would take to truly, fully explore a National Park. Thus an average vacation lasts only a few days. It can mean warm winters as opposed to freezing blizzards, cool summers in place of blistering days, and quality time with the family.
I mention this because I am thinking of working in exchange for room and board or car camping somewhere near beautiful sceneryin exchange for waived campground fees...

sans internet + trial exercise bike + goals = 3-legged milk stool of ChAnGe

Change...this time it's for me, my benefit, not anyone else's. That is the only way one can truly make a difference in a life-long cycle of habitual disappointments.

Therefore, I take aim at living a healthier life in all aspects. So I am focusing on shedding this pregnancy weight one step at a time. During the first two weeks postpartum, I rapidly lost 30 lbs and found (still) giant flaps of skin hanging off of me. S.M. suggested that I eat to gain back some of that weight and then try and tone that area gradually losing the weight. I barely remember much of that conversation or others like it. However, I have gained a modicum of weight back, in hopes of dropping it the proper way this time.

This past weekend I tackled the clutter of clothes that no longer fit and was able to fill the whole trunk of my mom's car with an assortment of sizes and styles that no longer fit me or my new postpartum figure. Many of the clothes I tried on and they just barely fit, but the fashion aspect was horrendous or just not my style. Some I held up to my waist and shook my head in disgust... I even tried on one of those slim your belly contraptions and the damn thing would NOT close! The back brace did the same even with the extenders. I am stuck at a size in clothing I thought not possible in my wildest dreams or (nightmares). However, I will NOT reveal that number.

Clothes, nutrition, exercise, sleep, positive well-being... I think these are some of the keys to my 3-legged milk-stool (Thank you Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory) of success. Umm I forgot where I was going with this.....thanks a lot postpartum brain.... Oh yeah,

Let me make some easy goals based on nutrition. I'm really trying to focus on life-long healthy eating habits for the long haul; therefore here is a semi-realistic resolution:

1. Goal 1. Eat 2 servings of fruit and 2 servings of veggies every day. Now, I thought I was doing this already (ugh) but when I took an honest look at my diet, I found myself very lacking, especially in veggies, got the fruits down (somewhat).
2. Goal 2. Have only 1 sweet treat per day. I have a huge sweet tooth and will graze on chocolate, peanut butter cookies (that I made with 1.5 cups of sugar), Dove dark chocolates, etc... Throughout the day (but especially in the evenings) and then feel terrible about it later on, so why not just finish off the rest, that goes for kettlecorn popcorn as well... If I give myself permission to have just one sweet thing has really helped me to be more thoughtful about what I choose to eat and truly savor it. Thus there are some days where I don't even want it (just one sweet thing) at all! (Yeah right, like that could happen)...
3. Goal 3. Have just 1 healthy snack between meals. Did I mention once again, I am a grazer, so I would take handfuls of snacks here and there throughout the day, thus I often find myself not hungry at mealtimes (but I eat it anyway to avoid disappointing the cook). Planning snacks ahead of time helps me have something to look forward to between meals.
4. Goal 4. Eat several small meals instead of one giant meal a day. Nuff said.
5. goal 5. Pamper me daily. (do one small thing)

 

These goals are building a strong foundation for healthy living not a diet.

my goal for fitness.

TWO days a week of cardio (which is walking with the shopping cart at Wal-Mart right now) and one day of strength, which I really need to focus on again...I lost all of my muscles and tone during this pregnancy! I think some atrophying even began to appear from all that sedentary… However, having difficulties lifting much more than our cat...

Oh, I rode the exercise bike last night for approximately an hour, burned 381 calories, and gained a sore ASS!!!!

GNIGHT all....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 the relationship between effort and progress usually looks more like this:

focus on the process rather than your progress

 

my response to a job posting

Requirements include:
60 post secondary education credit hours
check: A.A. English, A.S. Child Development
Transporation to and from student locations (sometimes at the school depending on if group or individual)
check: I have a car, it's adequate in the transportation department
Proof of valid insurance
check: it's due again in november
Flexible schedule able to accomodate student needs and parent preference
check: all the time in the world
Able to undergo a thorough background check
 check: easy, NOT a criminal
Able to complete fingerprinting requirements with the school district
 check: not a criminal, crystal clear and squeaky clean
Positive attitude, organizational skills, and passion to assist struggling learners.
 check:

If you enjoy working one on one with students and making a difference in their educational experiences

call me ASAP

My most recent learning experience is that there are various approaches to grasping a concept or cooking. I can read a recipe, but it doesn't sink in right away and the dish usually ends up rather muddled. However, if someone takes the time to show me step by step by demonstrating their knowlege, it turns out just right. Lastly, a hands on approach seals the deal. Repetition, practice, and location are vital in the pursuit of knowledge. Some students study better in complete silence, classical music improves brain waves, and others prefer a noisy environment. The key is to finding each of my students' niche study environment and to use something they enjoy to promote lifelong learning.

zzzzzzzz long day....gnight

Affairs (not that kind)

I was attempting to straighten out all my affairs, especially the bills which have been accumulating in a pile of mail. I noticed a few discrepancies and have been dealing with customer service. After many dropped calls and transfers to different departments, I finally reached an understanding human. WOW!!! I could not believe it. When you call their 1-800-NUM-BER!, you are first greeted with an automated robot who doesn't seem to understand what you say or type in on your touch tone phone.
I was greeted with my current balance and "would you like to make a payment?" Normally, I just say agent and ignore that shit, well yesterday I was frustrated beyond all reason and after being transferred to different departments for the 7th time that day (at least) and that was in addition to the dropped calls and lost connections, I punched zero repeatedly, and FINALLY heard a soft spoken female voice. This young lady understood my frustrations and was willing to go above and beyond her call of duty. She stayed on the phone with me for a good hour and listened to me bitch about my bill and how life sucks as well as describe in brief detail what led up to my issues with nonpayment in full thus resulting in the installment plan. We spent the first 40 minutes going over each charge and fees accrued. She determined the initial cause of my problem and plans to actually call me back in 2 days when she goes back to work. Let's hope that this situation can be resolved because it is wearing my patience thin. 
Current solution: She suggested I watch a movie, be around friends, focus on family, relax, eat something and drink water and get some sleep. And last, but certainly not least, don't think about the phone's billing issues for 2 days.

Review of Matched, yes it's a book

Today's blog is my review on Matched (Book One in the trilogy). I read it from March 29-30th, 2012. The reason I am mentioning it here is due to Crossed (Book Two in the Matched Trilogy). I am currently reading this and let me tell you...I have fallen asleep from sheer lack of appeal. The author did not live up to my expectations.

I did not care for the euthanasia aspect of her grandfather's final banquet. It made me cringe when the artifacts were taken away, especially from young Bram, who wanted to hold on to something special from his grandfather. Cassia is a young woman who starts to wonder when she sees Ky's face instead of Xander's on her micro card. This sets the tone for her taking more interest and spending time with Ky. I do wonder why the Official is never named.. Xander is Cassia's childhood friend and she is thrilled to see him in a different way in light of the match banquet. The Society seems to regulate everyone and everything through threats of relocation and reassigning. Cassia starts questioning her life and other aspects of the world where she resides.

The story ended without any true resolution so I am assuming that there will be more to come in further books about Ky. I do wonder if my baby-to-be will grow up in a world similar to this... When it said that Cassia's mother had her baby at the cutoff of 31, this gave me great pause, as I will be 32 a few months after my daughter will be born.(

I feel like a truck ran over me...

Figuratively, not literally, that is.

Pain

Pain is temporary.It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. Lance Armstrong----- This is the quote I think of when the emotional anguish manifests itself physically.

8 weeks postpartum

Needless to say, babygirl is 8 weeks, 5 hours, and 50 minutes old. She is currently staying with extended family and I send long distance hugs and kisses to her while I am dealing with severe postpartum depression.

Is there life out there?

We have heard so far the voice of life on one small world only. But we have at last begun to listen for other voices in the cosmic fugue. Carl Sagan

7-30

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you" - Wayne Dyer --- I so needed to read that quote this evening. It's been a long, tiring day..

Brick walls

"You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts." - Brian Tracy------ I am making small yet attainable goals in this book of life. Inevitable huge brick walls appear as obstacles to get to my goal. I have several choices that I can make. I can stop, sit down, and sulk, totally giving up on my goal and therefore my dream. Or I can find another route. Over, around, through, under the brick walls (obstacles) that always appear as soon as I make even a small goal. I can use a ladder to climb up and over. I can bust a hole through the wall. I can walk around the wall, but that will take a long while. I can dig a tunnel underneath the wall. I don't want to stop and give up!!! I want to accomplish my goals, so I press onward as each brick wall blocks my path. -----This quote strikes my fancy due to needing a loan to pay for rent, utilities, etc..------ "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." - Mark Twain

7-29

Pain is temporary.It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. Lance Armstrong

children

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing." - Abraham Lincoln The expert life coaches I’m talking about are – Children! Children come into the world with a positive ‘can-do’ mindset that we as adults can learn a lot from. In today’s edition of Dare To Dream I’d like to share with you 7 life lessons I’ve learnt from children. Live In The Moment It never ceases to amaze me how quickly children can make the transition from being upset to being happy. Underlying these instantaneous mood swings is the ability to truly live in the moment. Children don’t spend hours reflecting on the past or worrying about the future. They live life as it happens. As adults we often carry emotional baggage from our previous experiences as well as fears for our future. It’s little wonder that we struggle to enjoy each moment simply for what it is. Give Yourself Time To Learn To put myself through University, I used to teach the clarinet and saxophone to students of all ages. One of the major differences between my young students and my adult students was that the children gave themselves time to learn. When they made a mistake, they simply laughed and moved on. The adult students on the other hand, often got worried and frustrated by their mistakes and berated themselves for not being perfect. Children understand that it takes time to become good at something and they know that making mistakes is part of the learning process. Believe Anything Is Possible This is an area in which children easily out do most adults. Children truly believe that anything is possible and as we’ve already seen in an earlier edition of Dare To Dream, belief is the secret ingredient for achieving success in every area of your life. Laugh Out Loud One of the things children enjoy more than anything else is to laugh and giggle. Some of my happiest memories are of laughing to the point of tears with my nephews over some silly incident or comment. For some reason, as we grow older we seem to repress our sense of fun in preference for something called ‘maturity’. Personally, I would much rather laugh out loud! Don’t Be Afraid To Love Children are much more likely to say, "I love you" than most adults. They do not think about or analyse the long term consequences of making this statement. When they feel a sense of love for someone, they simply let them know. Forgive Quickly And Completely Children rarely carry a grudge for very long. They may get angry or upset but when they forgive someone, they do it quickly and completely. Adults on the other hand are quite capable of carrying a grudge for many years and even when they do forgive someone, it is often a case of, "I’ll forgive but I’ll never forget!" Never Lose Your Sense Of Wonder Children don’t take the world around them for granted. They possess a wonderful sense of curiosity and fun. A few weeks ago I was in the Melbourne Botanical Gardens with my nephew David. I was chasing him around an oak tree and each time I changed direction and caught him, he burst into a fit of giggles. Eventually we collapsed on the ground and looked up at the sunlight sparkling through the leaves. As I lay on the ground, I reached over and picked up an acorn and said, "David, did you know that this big tree grew from a little seed like this?" My nephew thought about this for a moment and then his eyes widened and he asked, "How?" I looked at the acorn in my hand and then up at the huge tree above us and the amazement that my nephew had shown suddenly hit me too! Action Steps: This week, take a break from the pressures of being an adult and use the seven life lessons above to reconnect with your inner child.

ponderings

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?.................................................... Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?

philosophy not physics

posted on a man's formum [quote]Do humans choose their actions freely, exercising their own power of will, or do external and prior causes (even the will of God) determine our acts?[/quote] Chuck has been thinking about things and here is his post: [quote] As for this, sounds more like philosophy than physics to me... With that said, I love philosophy and have read a lot of books about it. I think about the question above a lot, I have come to the belief that we act freely however I believe that there are pre-ordained events in our lives...our destiny if you will, and we as human beings have the freedom to make a choice that will effect our immediate future...I also feel that the end destination is the same regardless of the decision we make in our lives. The best example I can give would be to look at Rand McNally road map/atlas, when you're finding ways to get to your destination notice how there's many different roads or paths, there are shortcuts and scenic routes. Well I feel that's a great example on human life, filled with different paths we can take that will effect our trip, when we come to a crossroad we have to make a decision that can alter our trip but ultimately the destination will always remain the same.[quote]

I fell

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." - Elbert Hubbard Mistakes are frequently made by all, but this one was unexpected. I tripped and fell on my back, butt, left side, and scraped my right arm this afternoon/early evening. My mistake was miscalculating the steps and not noticing the rotten step at the bottom. I have trouble with stairs and curbs and Doc has me under fall precaution after major surgery. I am all shook up, my back aches, and I started seeing spots (low blood sugar). I blanked out temporarily and yelled for help. No one heard me or came to assist for awhile. So here I am, lying on the collapsed step with something sharp under my butt and a something uncomfortable wearing a dress which is hiked up to my thighs. Finally, my mother stops vacumming in the motorhome and comes to my aid as I yell "Mother" one last time.

today's email: all this for a $1.00 ..will comment later

"Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is." — Isaac Asimov: was an American author and professor of biochemistry FACT: A stamp on a diploma won't bring you the money, freedom, and fulfillment you want in your career. The right skills and knowledge will. We'll explore each major area of business in greater depth and detail than most people ever experience. You'll learn about: Value-Creation: How to create something people find valuable enough to buy. Marketing: How to attract the attention of your target market. Sales: How to convince customers to pull out their wallet and buy. Value-Delivery: How to make your paying customers happy. Finance: How to keep your business running and make more money. The Human Mind: How people collect and process information and make decisions. How to Work with Yourself: How to enhance your own daily productivity. How to Work with Other People: How to productively influence the people around you. Understanding Systems: How to understand the basic components of every system. Analyzing Systems: How to figure out how any system works. Improving Systems: How to improve a system without blowing things up. The Personal MBA Masterclass. You'll discover things like: The Iron Law of the Market: Why every business is limited by the size and quality of the market it attempts to serve - and how to find large, hungry markets. The 12 Forms of Value: Products and services are only two of the 12 ways you can create value for your customers. The Pricing Uncertainty Principle: All prices are malleable. Raising your prices is the best way to dramatically increase profitability - IF you know how to support the price you're asking. 4 Methods to Increase Revenue: There are only four ways a business can bring in more money. Do you know what they are? Risk Reversal: How to encourage your customers to stop being scared and start being excited about doing business with you. Caveman Syndrome: Why your brain thinks you're living 10,000 years ago, and how you can use that knowledge to stop stressing out and start being more productive. Goals, States of Being, and Habits: What they are, why they're important, and why you can't afford to confuse them if you're trying to get what you really want. Counterfactual Simulation: The most powerful capability of your mind, and how to wield it consciously to reach your goals faster than you believed possible. Resilience: How to be ready for anything the world throws at you, even in the face of ever-present change and uncertainty. Standard Operating Procedures: How a few simple checklists, guides, and rules of thumb can make your company more profitable, less stressful, and more fun. The Experimental Mindset: How to construct simple tests that will help you discover new opportunities, amplify your effectiveness, and make more money. And MUCH more

Achieving your dreams is a numbers game. If you have the courage and determination to knock on enough doors, you will find the right one. Failures are just the wrong door, must keep trying... Knock on the next door "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." - Chinese Proverb Step one: Wake up Step two: get out of bed Step three: make bed Step four: take prenatal vitamins step five: drink 1/2 bottle of water step six: fix and eat toast step seven: brush teeth step eight: shower step nine: get dressed step ten: face the world etc...